Kynes

​

“Well, one of us should have some modesty, considering you’re naked half the time!”

 

“Quiet, both of you.” The woman in the helmet barked. She drew her sword and pointed it into the valley below. “These are the last known coordinates of the Unidentified Monstrous Animal known as “Eat.” It may look quiet now, but make no mistake. UMAs exist to make humans suffer. It won’t remain hidden for long.”

 

The five of them entered the village below. Juiz, the woman in the helmet, took the lead, followed by Billy, navigating by the sound of his spurs against the pavement. Haruka clomped along behind, their armor defying any intention of stealth. Andy and Fuuko, the bickering pair, trailed behind, distant from the others but as close to each other as possible without touching.

 

“It’s like a ghost town here.” Fuuko confided to her hulking companion.

 

“Yeah. Maybe the UMA ate everyone.” 

 

“Not likely.” Billy cut in, cocking his head over one shoulder in a sightless glance. “UMAs play with their food. They usually like to transform the bodies of their unsuspecting prey rather than murdering them outright.” 

 

“We should try to locate some of the locals,” Juiz cut in. “You and Andy check the residential buildings. The rest of us will investigate the dining hall at the center of town.” 

 

“On it!” Fuuko saluted, grabbing Andy by the sleeve and pulling him behind her as they beelined toward the nearest cottage.

 

“Okay, fine,” Andy grumbled, “but I better not miss any of the action.” 

​

+ + +

 

Inside the house, everything was dark. Colorful quilts hung on the bare wooden walls, and the furniture was painted with flowers and stylized depictions of animals. Nothing appeared out of place. Andy looked around, hands on his hips, smile slightly faltering as Fuuko delved deeper into the house.

 

“No sign of a struggle. Maybe it’s the off-season?” 

 

“Here’s something!” Fuuko called from the kitchen. 

 

Andy followed. Amber light spilled out from an open refrigerator. The door hung partially off its hinges, and a dull hum rang out as the compressor futilely tried to fill the empty space. The shelves stood bare and spotless. The whitewashed racks glistened under the bare bulb. Not a crumb of food left, as if the interior had been licked clean. 

 

“Weird,” he said. “I’d wager Eat had something to do with this.” 

 

Suddenly, a loud thump came from above them. They both looked toward the ceiling, and a dusting of plaster rained down into Fuuko’s face, making her sneeze.

 

“Hello?” Fuuko called. Wiping at her face with her sleeve. She moved toward the stairway, but Andy held out his arm. He drew his Katana from his back. He didn’t wear a sheath, instead opting to keep the sword stabbed through his flesh. His Undead ability healed the wound instantly, not even staining his suit with blood, though the twin holes in the fabric remained.

 

They stalked up the stairs. The boards creaked beneath the weight of Andy’s muscled form. Several more sounds joined in the chorus of their footsteps echoing from the hallway at the top of the landing. Something large and clumsy was in the room at the end of the hall. The muffled sounds from behind the oaken door sounded like the struggles of a captive moose.

 

Andy placed one hand on the knob and pushed it open gently. He stepped back, sword raised. His body language tense and aggressive. Fuuko peered around the side of his wide torso and let out an involuntary gasp upon seeing the interior of the bedroom. A man sat on the floor, legs splayed out, hefty belly filling the space between them. Sausage fingers grasped and failed to find purchase on the sealed end of a can of preserved peaches. He was wearing lederhosen that were several sizes too small for his tremendously obese body, and his red moustache curled over the edges of his upper lip as he gnawed at the lip of the metal prison keeping his meal from him

 

He looked up when he saw them and his face lit up.

 

“Oh, thank goodness you’re here! Please, you have to help me!”

 

“We’re here to help!” Fuuko declared, pushing past Andy, who was scratching at the scar on his temple. “What happened here?”

 

“Oh, thank you, frauline. You’ve saved my life! Please get your big strong friend to open these pfirsiches for me!”

 

+ + +

 

The dining hall was empty aside from the long wooden tables that filled the interior of the open space, which served as the entrance. Juiz waved her remaining team forward, weapons at the ready, save for Billy, who kept his hands in his pockets.

 

“Are you getting anything?” She asked, not turning her head away from the shadowed sections of the building’s interior

 

“It’s all quiet, boss. You would think that a dining hall would be the perfect place for a UMA called Eat.” 

 

“Let's head to the kitchens, then regroup with Fuuko and Andy.” 

 

They passed among the long tables, which sat, unset and uncovered. There was no sign of life, save for a single light coming from a door at the end of the hall. They approached cautiously and found themselves in a large preparatory area lit with bare, fluorescent bulbs that reflected off the stainless steel counters and white linoleum. In the center of the room was a massive cooler. The red plastic of its body was the only bit of color in the otherwise sterile room.

 

Billy drew his pistols as Juiz approached cautiously. She lifted the lid only to reveal that the entire cooler was piled high with sausage. The scent of smoked meats filled the room. Juiz started to say something when she was impacted from behind, knocking her to the floor. A tripwire attached to the lid of the cooler snapped and the automated machinery in the kitchen sprang to life.

 

Billy rose from where he’d tackled Juiz to the floor and offered her his hand.

“Sorry, boss. Thought something was about to explode.”

 

“Good instincts, Billy. We’re not out of danger yet.”

 

 Metal rods formed pretzels from dough and loaded them onto a conveyer belt to be baked. The smell of fresh bread and cured meats was intoxicating and an electronic crackle came to life from a speaker in the corner. From the intercom, they could hear the tinny sound of the chicken dance being played on horns.

 

+ + +

 

Andy and Fuuko sat in the bedroom as the fat man in the corner slurped on the remains of the empty can.  Both of them stared at him in confusion and pity.

 

“This has to have something to do with the UMA, right?” Fuuko whispered.

 

“Your guess is as good as mine. I’ve never had to deal with one of those things before,”

 

“I suppose we should tell Juiz what we found. She might–” 

 

She was cut off by the sound of polka music being played over loudspeakers outside. The horns rang out across the town from megaphones mounted on poles and rooftops. The portly German looked up from his empty can of peaches, open-mouthed and salivating.

 

“Mein Gott! The festival.” He leapt to his feet with surprising agility and barreled toward the door, neatly bowling Fuuko over in the process. His hand made contact with the bare skin of her face as he pushed by her and then sprinted down the stairs and out into the streets.

 

“Are you okay?” Andy asked, helping her to her feet.

 

“I’m fine, but he might not be. He’s about to get a dose of my Unluck.” They looked out the window to see the man running down the street. Right on cue, his shoe caught on a half brick in the pavement. He tripped, tumbling forward onto his doughy stomach and skidding to a stop.

 

“That wasn’t so bad.” Andy offered. Fuuko sighed in relief.

 

Without warning, a stampede of obese Germans came charging toward the dining hall. They poured out from their houses like an infestation of ants and trampled over the fallen man as if he were merely a very fat doormat.

 

“Oof. Bad luck.” Andy winced.

 

+ + +

 

Juiz rushed to the dining hall entrance just as the first of the fattened townspeople collided with the doors. The enormously obese woman in a red dress grabbed at the handle with chubby fingers, but before she could pull it open, another hefty townsperson collided with her from behind. Dozens of obese bodies began piling against the doors, trapping them inside.

 

“We’ll have to shoot our way out,” Billy said, lifting his pistols.

 

“Don’t be rash. These are civilians. Even if we did kill them, we couldn’t move their bodies. They must be under the UMA’s influence. Our best bet is to capture Eat and break the spell.”

 

Haruka stood, battle-ready, naginata drawn as more and more soft bodies impacted against the doors and windows. Fleshy bellies and breasts pressed against the glass, and the structure creaked audibly under the strain of their dimpled girth.

 

A resounding cackle rose from all around the empty buildings, and a chorus of sing-song voices began speaking in unison, so loudly that it could be heard even through the sound-dampening flab surrounding the dining hall.

 

“Three little negators, caught in my web,” the voice shrilled. “When the spider catches its prey, it usually means that there’s a meal on the way, but in this case, you’re going to be the ones eating.”

 

Three enormous, disembodied mouths rose from behind a church at the far end of town. Their lips were bright and oiled with rouge. They writhed and gaped dreadfully as they hovered toward the dining hall. Each spoke with a unique voice, but they moved in unison, making their specific tones inscrutable in their horrific harmony.

 

“Negators can be a nuisance in groups, but trapping you together makes you easy pickings. I think I’m going to fatten you all up first, and then let the locals join you for an early Oktoberfest!”  

 

There was a flash of steel, and something powerful passed through one of the sets of lips at high speed. Andy landed on a nearby rooftop, sword drawn as the mouth behind him bisected into two clear halves.

“Yeah! Get ‘em, Andy! Give that monster some amateur dental surgery!” Fuuko shouted from the street below.

“Ahh!” The remaining mouths screamed in agony and surprise. Teeth flashing and lips pulled back from red gums. “Two little morsels escaped my trap! I’ll have to deal with you before getting to the main course!”

 

One mouth lunged at Fuuko, teeth bared and tongue hanging out as if to bite her. Andy stepped in, pushing Fuuko aside. The teeth snapped closed over his entire sword-arm. He pulled his severed stump away, arm already regenerating.

 

“Hey, mega-mouth. You can’t eat my sword. Give it back.”
 

“If you insist.” The Uma giggled before the second mouth rose behind Andy and spat the katana at him, severed arm still clutching the hilt. It shot from the monster's lips like a dart and pinned Andy through the torso into the log wall of one of the nearby cottages. 

 

“Andy!” Fuuko sprinted, tennis shoes slapping against the stone street. She reached him and grabbed the hilt of the sword, pushing away his severed arm and bracing one foot against the wall as she attempted to pull the blade from his back. Behind her, the bisected remains of the third mouth began to reform.

 

“Look at you, going to rescue your boyfriend. Isn’t that just delicious?”

 

There was barely a moment to respond before Teeth slammed closed around her, leaving nothing behind except the reverberation of bone against bone

 

“Fuuko!” Andy yelled, pushing at the wall, but unable to free himself from where he’d been pinned. He changed tactics, taking advantage of his incredible strength; he punched himself in the head several times until his head tore from his neck and was knocked asunder by the force of his blow. It sailed through the air, regenerating his body as it flew, until he landed, naked next to his own headless corpse. He pulled his sword from the wall with minimal effort, allowing his old body to slump to the ground.

 

“You’re going to pay for that,” he growled. His smile had completely dropped, and he raised his sword. 

 

“Relax, lover boy.” The monstrous maws teased, as one of them spat Fuuko out onto the ground between them. “You’re about to have a front-row seat to my favorite trick.”

 

A triangular field of energy appeared between the three UMA mouths, with Fuuko sitting directly in the middle. She looked around at the horrible lips smiling down at her, confused and disoriented by being transported between them. 

 

She tried to stand, but couldn't move. A fuzzy feeling overtook her limbs and made its way into her core. Suddenly, she began to expand. The buttons on her shirt became tight as her tummy began to grow softer and fuller. The fabric strained and popped in protest as belly fat fought for area that had previously been unoccupied. Her already substantial breasts pushed against her bra, making it harder to breathe as her gasps became more labored. Each inhale strained the bra more, but the exhalations didn’t relieve pressure. The strain increased like a ratcheting wrench, building and building with each breath. Billowing belly flesh poked through tiny windows between the buttons of her shirt until the first one popped, shooting outward like a bullet and rolling down the cobblestone street.

“B-big?” She gasped

More buttons followed until her stomach had fully broken the confines of her shirt and her newly fat belly burst embarrassingly out of her clothes and flopped into the lap of her trousers. She squeaked in shock as she tried to get more breath, but her constricting bra prevented her from making a more substantial exclamation. Finally, it too tore, ripping along the armholes and letting her boobs spill forward, bursting the remains of her shirt and letting her prodigious breasts droop free onto her belly. Each was nearly the size of her gut, and they wobbled as she tried desperately to move her arms and cover them. 

 

Her face burned a bright red that made her nose hot. She wasn’t sure which mortified her more, the sudden nudity or the face that the body on display had become so soft. She was used to her breasts being too large to hide, but now all of her was unignorably huge! She’d always worked to keep herself covered for fear of spreading her unluck. Now there was so much more flesh to worry about. These thoughts were crowded out of her mind by a new concern which inflated to fill her whole brain.
 

A low, dissatisfied gurgle rose from her stomach with a force that made the smooth flesh ripple. She was hungry, and not just hungry. She was ravenous. She wanted to fill her belly with whatever food was available. She didn’t even care if it made her fatter. The important thing was that she ate and kept eating. A dopey smile spread over her face as she imagined piles of burgers, pizza, and donuts. The thought made her mouth water, and she nearly stopped paying attention to her continued fattening entirely. 

 

Her belly wouldn’t allow her tits to steal the show, and it swelled further with fat, widening and losing the fight to gravity as more and more weight settled closer to her thickening hips. Her butt had been slow to accelerate, but now that her belly had begun to share real estate with her lower half, it rushed to catch up, widening into a soft shelf behind her which cushioned her against the hard ground and lifted her several inches into the air.

 

She winced as her pants cut into her hips. The sturdy fabric strained but didn’t burst. The discomfort was enough to briefly snap her from her trance. In the moments she had spent daydreaming, she had become so much fatter! She had to escape. If she stayed within the field much longer, she’d end up with a butt too wide to fit through doorways and a belly that hung down to her knees. Free from the confines of her bra, she took in a deep breath and screamed.

 

“Andy, help me!” 

 

“Already on it, kid!” Andy dropped from above one of the mouths and sliced through it with a single, clean strike. He rushed to another mouth and divided it in twain as well, before scooping the softened Fuuko up in one arm and rushing to the third mouth.

 

With a flurry of quick movement, he carved at the creature until it burst into a shower of fleshy confetti

 

“Geez, you’re heavy, kid. Would it kill you to lose a little weight?”

 

“Shut up, you big jerk! Get us out of here.”

 

Andy rushed away, the UMA already reforming behind him.

 

“I’ve got a plan, but first we have to free our friends.”

 

“How do you plan to do that?” Fuuko asked. 

 

“Ever heard of the straw that broke the camel’s back?” 

 

+ + +

 

Inside the dining hall, Juiz and the others had braced the walls with overturned tables, though the structure was still groaning ominously and the walls seemed to be leaning inward as the heaving fatties continued to pile against them outside. 

 

“Have we located an exit?” She asked as she and Haruka leaned against a table, holding back thousands of pounds of flab.

 

“We’re surrounded on all sides by fatsos,” Billy lamented. “Our best bet is to go through the roof, but these old buildings are sturdy. It’s going to take some serious force to–”

 

There was a crash as the roof exploded. Rafters shattered and beams splintered as Andy, carrying Fuuko, plummeted to the floor below. His legs were mulched by the impact but were already regenerating, and he’d managed to keep Fuuko completely unharmed.

 

“Andy. You’re just in time,” Juiz said. “I take it you haven’t managed to capture the UMA?”

 

“Not yet. It regenerates as long as a part of it remains undamaged, but I have a plan. Can you guys lead the locals out of here?” 

 

“That shouldn’t be a problem. They’re going after the food. There’s a whole chest of sausage in the kitchen.”

 

“Oh, did you say sausage? Can I have some?” Fuuko moved to drop from Andy’s arms, but he held tight as she jiggled and squirmed in his grasp

“Hold up, big girl. I’m copping a pretty hefty feel here. As soon as I let go, we’re going to get hit with a huge dose of Unluck.”

“Huh?” Fuuko looked down and realized that she was naked. “Aaah, nobody look. Someone cover me up.” Andy struggled to maintain his grip on the hefty heroine.

“Did you forget I’m blind?” Billy chimed in. “Juiz and Haruka aren’t interested anyway. Come on, let's get the sausage and be outta here.” 

 

Moments later, the team burst through the hole in the roof, Haruka carrying the cooler under one arm while Juiz wielded her rapier with a dozen pretzels skewered on it. The building groaned under the heavy punishment, and a section of the walls collapsed, leaving a crowd of confused Germans wandering tubbily in the rubble.

“Dinner time! Everybody!” Billy shouted, herding them as best he could manage. “Follow the smell of sausage!” The townspeople caught the hint immediately and rushed after the food as the team raced toward the helicopter

 

“My prey!” The UMA gasped and moved to follow them when Andy burst from the wreckage of the building, slicing through one of them and chipping a giant tooth as Fuuko flailed.

“Your prey is right here, you mouthy monster. You can’t just fatten up my friends without consequences. So show me what you’ve got.”

 

“You’re going to be a lot less of a nuisance once we’ve doubled your weight.” 

 

Andy severed his own ankles using the regeneration of his legs to launch himself into the air and away from the mouths that floated after him. He crashed back into the dining hall, making another hole in the ceiling of the already wrecked building. Fuuko scrunched her eyes shut and held on for dear life, doing her best to ignore the way her newly fattened body bounced and jiggled with each impact.

 

“Do we have a plan, Andy? All I can think about right now is how good those pretzels smell” 

 

“I do!” he set her down against a ruined wall, making sure not to take a hand off of her belly and sheathing his sword in his chest. “Once I let go, there’s going to be a huge burst of Unluck. It should be enough to take out all three parts of that thing.”

Fuuko flushed and was doing her best to cover her expanded assets.

“I get why you have to touch me, but do you have to pinch my belly like that?”

 

“Hmm? Why not? It’s spilling out everywhere.”

“It’s not spilling out!” She shouted, face red.

 

“It is! A lot! Not your fault the UMA made you so fat. This belly is even bigger than those overgrown melons of yours. I kinda like it. It’s a good look for you.”

 

“Shut up, shut up!” She yelled, slapping him across the face and knocking him free. A shadow fell over them as one of the mouths appeared in the sky above. 

 

“There you are, morsels. You’re not very good at hiding.”

 

“Who said we were hiding?” Andy asked, grinning wide despite the stinging red handprint on his cheek. The sky turned red above them, and the UMA’s own smile slowly faltered. “Right on schedule. Wicked sick.”

 

Andy leaped toward the UMA, slicing it into bits as he went and grabbed onto the shreds of monster flesh, pulling them together. One mouth managed to bite him, but he merely popped out from another and continued slicing and dicing, all the while propelling himself upward toward the massive meteor which had been summoned by Fuuko’s Unluck. 

 

He wrangled bits of Uma in his arms and teeth, skewering them like a kebab until they were all grouped together under the burning fury of the heavenly death plummeting toward them. Fuuko ducked for cover, only for Haruka to appear next to her and shield her behind unbreakable armor. 

 

The Meteor impacted, and the entire town disappeared in a flash of white.

 

+ + +

 

The members of the union gathered around the round table to discuss the results of their quests. 

 

Phil, Tanya, and Top had managed to capture UMA Spoil, and Shen and Nico had neutralized UMA Language. 

“Really, it was Nico’s victory alone,” Shen admitted. “I was mostly there for morale support.”
 

“It wasn’t that hard.” Nico bragged. “Juiz isn’t the only one who can take down a UMA on her own.”

 

“I wasn’t heavily involved in the capture of UMA Eat,” Juiz admitted. “We owe our victory to Andy’s quick thinking and Fuuko’s Unluck.”

 

“Wish you guys could have seen it!” Andy chimed in. “It was wicked sick. Right, kid?” He turned to Fuuko, who glowered at him from her seat next to his. Her widened ass barely fit between the armrests. She was halfway through a burger and a pack of French fries. Now that Eat had been captured, she could think straight again, but she was still incredibly hungry all the time. She’d gotten a new uniform to match her size, but the buttons over the stomach were already straining against her belly fat. Whether she wanted to admit it or not, she was still growing.

 

“Don’t give me that look! You’d better slow down on those burgers if you don’t want to end up even fatter.”

 

“Actually, the changes an UMA makes to a person’s body are often irreversible.” Shen cut in. “I’m afraid Ms. Fuuko will likely have to get used to her larger size.”

 

“What?” She exclaimed. “As if this cursed body wasn’t bad enough. I’m a fatty from now on too?” 

 

“Hey! Don’t be like that!” Andy cut in. “I kinda like how soft and droopy your new belly is. Draws some attention away from your boobs.” He poked at her tummy a few times, causing a button to pop and accidentally making contact with the doughy flesh beneath.

There was a moment of pause before Andy’s body spontaneously burst into flames.

“Hmmph. Serves you right.” She took a drink from her soda before turning her attention back to her fries.